Thursday, February 7, 2008
Why Mars and Venus Collide. (Introducing John Gray's newest book)
The enduring message from John Gray is that men and women are indeed from different planets. This truth has not changed since the publication of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. In fact, the differences between the sexes have become more evident in today’s hectic, fast-paced world. Except now, the monster known as stress has become a main ingredient in our lives and it has successfully invaded our relationships. Enter John Gray’s newest book: Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress.
No More White Picket Fences
Once upon a time, there was a lifestyle where men went to work and women stayed home. In today’s society, you’re more likely to find the power couple. They both go to work (for longer than just 9 to 5) and they are overworked, underpaid, and overstressed. They both struggle to excel in the same status-hungry society and hectic, competitive, career-oriented environment. Couples come home to each other … and instead of being comforted by each other, a new set of problems begin. And most of these challenges can be chalked up to one main ingredient: stress.
Unprecedented levels of stress are taking their toll on romantic relationships. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or single and dating, we are often too busy or too tired to motivate ourselves to maintain feelings of attraction or show our affection. But instead of pointing the finger at your partner for this lacking element, the more accurate offender to charge is stress.
Text Me, Email Me, IM Me, But Don’t Talk to Me
In a society where the methods of communication are multiplying rapidly, you would think that communication between couples has improved. But, unfortunately, the quality of communication has been drastically reduced by the abbreviated methods of connection. Quick texting and messaging increase our opportunities for independence and success at work, but they do nothing for the feelings of isolation and exhaustion that can exist at home.
Daily stress affects men and women. Both sexes are drained of their energy and patience and, at the end of the day, are often too overwhelmed to support and enjoy each other. Under the influence of stress, men and women forget why they do what they do. To make things even more complicated, men and women respond to stress differently, cope with stress through conflicting methods, and need different kinds of support to relieve their stress.
This isn’t to say that every couple in every household is arguing and bickering and headed for an implosion; but stress, if people are not aware of it, can affect relationships in negative and not always obvious ways. Men and women sweep aside their needs in order to handle their everyday responsibilities. Things get done, but passion disappears and, instead of being the solution to our stress, relationships become yet another problem to solve. But the teachings outlined in Why Mars and Venus Collide can change all of this – it is actually within the safe haven of our relationship that we can find relief from our stress.
It’s All about You
Many couples believe that they must sacrifice themselves and their needs in order to please their partner. But this attitude needs to be adjusted. Yes, compromise is required of every relationship – but you don’t make these changes and give up on yourself in the process. The art is in finding fair and reasonable compromises. John Gray introduces new ways to make this happen in a life filled with stress.
Men have traditionally been the breadwinners and women traditionally the managers of the home and children. But there is increased pressure in today’s society for women to work outside the home and thus there is a diminished pressure on men to be the sole provider. Women are expected to do so much in addition to their traditional roles, which have never been tweaked or redistributed, while they now work full-time jobs. Women have a never-ending to do list and stress is at an all-time high. Men are dealing with their own levels of stress. As a result, relationships become filled with misunderstandings, friction, and a sense of helplessness.
Going Back to Mars and Venus
John Gray’s solutions for stress are based on groundbreaking scientific research that supports the gender differences he has long described in his books. There are physiological reasons why women find comfort in talking about their problems and why men prefer to retreat. There are reasons why women can multitask and remember everything while men are able to focus on one thing at a time.
In Why Mars and Venus Collide, John Gray examines how men and women behave in stressful situations and provides new insights into how our responses to stress cause the sexes to clash. Remembering and understanding the differences between men and women is only half of the battle.
The other half is about action and learning to find effective ways to cope with stress. John Gray provides these coping methods by outlining time-tested techniques. Whether you are in a relationship, single, or starting over, in Why Mars and Venus Collide you will find new, practical ways to improve your communication, energy, and mood. You will learn how to reignite the levels of attraction in your relationship, create harmony with your partner, and enjoy a lifetime of love and romance.
All that’s needed from you is a willingness to learn, improve, and tuck away any fear of change. Accepting that stress is the culprit to blame for your problems – instead of your partner – will allow you to conquer and rise above some of the trying moments in your relationship. Putting the onus on stress will free you from expecting your partner to change, help you actually lower your own stress levels, and allow you to remember the pleasure of loving and accepting your partner for who they truly are.